Young Jeezy’s To-Do List

1. Stack my flow
2. Stack some mo’
3. End business for the evening and take inventory
4. Hide a portion of the day’s revenue at my aunt’s house for tax purposes and liquid availability
5. Go home, take a shower, and find a designated driver for the evening’s revelries. Likely my friend Brandon. Brandon swore-off drugs and alcohol last month after the rocky conclusion of a drawn-out breakup. I’m personally in favor of this transition, as I now have a reliable, sober ride on weekends.
6. Go to a club with the express purpose of finding a sex partner. My primary means of persuasion will be my notoriety, designer sunglasses (despite being indoors), and, of course, wads of cash from my aunt’s house.
7. Take said individual back to my house for intercourse. I’ll probably need to invite Brandon in as well, at least for a little bit so he doesn’t feel completely objectified as my personal taxi driver. It’s tough. I want to be a good friend but at the same time indulge in my selfish pastimes. I hope he gets over Martha soon. But not too soon. See item 5.
8. Ask sexual partner to leave at 3:45 AM. I’ll explain that flow stacking takes lazer sharp focus and a well rested mind. Also that I have sleep apnea and they’ll sleep better at home anyway.


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